With Ale and Pie (1941)

It's Wakes week in Wigan and two unemployed miners decide to spend a few days in Southport with flamboyant Uncle Dickie. Armed only with a family size meat and potato pie and two bottles of Uncle Bill's Brown Ale, they get on the wrong train at Wigan Wallgate station and end up in Blackpool by mistake. With Richard E Blunt.

Submitted by F Fisher, Fleetwood

East of Edenfield (1955)

James Pearldean, Julie Harrispoll, Burt Ives, Ray Massive

Pearldean plays the son of a modestly successful tripe finisher (Massive) whose idealistic plans for a long-haul tripe shipping business venture end in the loss of thousands of pounds.  He  decides to enter the pie-baking business to recoup the money his father lost.  Meanwhile, his brother's girlfriend (played by Harrispoll) gradually finds herself attracted to Pearldean's character.

The Gripes of Wath  (1940)

Henry Fondu, John Annodine, Laurence Bacardi, Olivia deSecondhand

Based upon the novel by John Spatchcock (no relation). Tempted across the Pennines by money, and a cheap day return ticket, Spatchcock's account of a particulaly nasty miners strike in South Yorkshire received terrible reviews. The Telegraph described it as "emminently forgettable", The Sun called it "absolute rubbish" while The Guardian said, "Miss this flim at all csots". Fondu seems out of place as the downtrodden miner who fights against the inhuman pit owner and audiences were puzzled by his appalling Yorkshire accent, despite being coached for dialogue by Dick Van Duck.

Never Ever Say Never Again, Never, Never Again, Ever (1961)

Oldham's Eleven  (1973)

George Clueless, Charles Hamtree, Kenneth Walliams

Casting against type, Spatchcock experimented with putting his most fey actors in this robust script about the 'Latics'  (Oldham Athletic) and their unconvincing struggle to reach the F A Cup Final despite only having eight in their squad - hence their desperate call-up for three extra men. In ordinary circumstances, the Chortle Brothers would have been Spatchcock's first port of call, however, their protracted contractual difficulties with Gorton undertakers necessitated this (hugely unsuccessful) experiment.

20,000 Leaves Under The Tree (1954)

Doug Kirklees, James Macespray, Peter Lorry

Spatchcock's attempt at existential film making wasn't popular with audiences. Kirklees plays a council worker who muses on the meaning of life while sweeping up leaves in Alexandra Park. Some reveiwers felt that Spatchcock, by displaying the park as a microcosm of life and adopting a symbolic standpoint, was adressing the anomie of modern living. Most, however, thought that he had finally lost the plot. Shot in the winter, Spatchcock imported 37 tons of leaves from Poland, many of which blew onto the railway and caused transport chaos.

Arbuthnot and Costco Meet Finklestein (1948)

Dovestone Reservoir Dogs (1935)

Six Oldham millworkers are on a day out in Saddleworth. To amuse themselves, they give each other vegetable-based nicknames. Mr Potato is so named because of the shape of his head. Mr Parsnip because of the shape of his nose. And Mr Cucumber because of his unfeasibly large penis. They stop at a sweet shop to buy some sweets. On the spur of the moment, Mr Potato steals some bullseyes. They are spotted by Mrs Grimshaw the sweetshop owner and attacked by her pet whippets. The gang hole up in a tripe factory in Hollinwood with tragic consequences. Includes a horrific scene in which one of the gang cuts an undercover bobbie’s tie in half. Made on a shoestring budget of just 10s 6d.

Minicab Driver (1974)

Robert de Chorlton, Jokey Foster, Harvey Keytel

A gritty and at times unsettling Spatchcock special, tackling the twin themes of urban decay and market traders' misuse of the apostrophe. The film's iconic scene when Travis Pickle (de Chorlton) studies himself in the mirror before taking the decision to give himself a comb-over has now become a cliche (Spatchcock himself returned to it in Hamlet, The Valley of the Colne and Beyond the Valley of the Colne). Purists might argue that the film suffers slightly from his over reliance on gratuitous violence, but nevertheless, this is generally considered to be Spatchcock's signature film.

The Furred Man (1949)

Orson Carte, Joseph Viscose, Trevor Howierd

Spatchcock's first attempt at a werewolf film sank without a trace. The film was sponsored by Oddlingtons Carpets of Aspull, and the werewolf makeup consisted of off-cuts of carpets and underlay. Viscose described his ordeal in make-up as 'the most tedious three minutes of the day'.

Passport to Pemberton (1949)

Stanley Galloway, Dame Margaret Rumbelow, Hermione Poorly

Shallow Gravy (1994)

Christopher Ecclescake, Ewan Mee, Kerry Gold, Keith Allenkey

After a Friday night drinking session, three friends and their new lodger (Allenkey) return to their Rochdale flatshare with takeways. The lodger feels unwell and retires to his bedroom where he takes his clothes off and chokes on a sausage. What should they do with his body? Why is his sausage no bigger than a chestnut? What should they do with his takeway? And, most important of all, why is there so little gravy on his chips?

The Morecambe Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Gunnar Beaumont, Paul A Partridge, Jim Slash, Marilyn Burnley, Jim Spatchcock

The film follows a group of friends who fall victim to a family of cannibals while on their way to the opening of a new branch of Poundstretcher. Upon its October 1974 release, The Morecambe Chain Store Massacre was banned outright in several towns on account of its graphic scenes of Morecambe in the winter. The character of Latherface and minor plot details were inspired by the crimes of real-life murderer Ted Nopain-Nogain

Field of Sheep (1989)

Kevin Costco, Amy Cardigan, Bert Lancashire, Ray Panacotta, James Earl Belmondo

Fantasy-drama film based on the novel by WTF Kinnell.. The film stars Kevin Costco as Geoff Boycott with James Earl Belmondo as Clive Lloyd and Bert Lancashire as Mr Dickie Bird.

A Todmorden sheep farmer hears voices and interprets them as a command to build a cricket pitch on one of his fields. He is sectioned. When he is released he builds the pitch and invites Lancashire CCC to play one of its games there but they are prevented from doing so as part of the pitch is just over the border in Yorkshire. The film ends in a mass brawl between Lancashire and Yorkshire cricket teams.

Field of Sheep was nominated for three awards at the 1989 St Anne’s Film Festival -worst original score (78 all out), worst adapted screenplay and worst picture. Surprisingly, it won none of them.

Doctor At Leigh (1955)

Dirk Gobarde, Donald Snide, Kenneth Mower, James Robertsons Jam, Brigitte Beanbags, Joan Jibs

The amusing antics of a new trainee doctor at Leigh Infirmary failed to get the public laughing. To save money Spatchcock filmed on location at the infirmary without permission, scuttling about the building to avoid detection and filming during quiet moments; this could explain the poor continuity and confusing plot. Elderly Robertsons Jams and a young Brigitte Beanbags carried on an unlikely, yet torrid, affair during the shoot. This kept the gutter press titillated but also deflected it from the equally torrid, yet secret, affair between Gobarde and Snide. Comedian Bob Monkfish had a brief appearance as a body in the morgue, a part that did his career no harm.

Mad Mel 2: The Road Warrior (1981)

Max Goebbels

In a dystopian vision of the future, Mad Mel (Goebbels) is a traffic cop policing the A56 Haslingden Bypass ensuring the road is kept safe for law abiding citizens and hauling in speeding motorists, especially anyone who looks Jewish. Mad Mel 1 was released the following year.

The Pink Panzer (1964)

Peter Cellulose, Noel Craven, Peggy Mountebank

To avoid paying duty on the German tank he bought off a GI* in Berlin, Spatchcock sprayed it pink and towed it home behind his Morris 1000, telling surprised Customs officials that it was a gift for his wife. The first of a long series of films which culminate in a bumbling detective crashing the tank into the suspect's residence where he discovers the missing diamonds/heiress/parrot.

*the GI in question was none other than Cecil 'Beedy' Mill who wrote in his memoirs that is chance encounter with Spatchcock inspired him to make his blockbuster 'The Tin Kommandants'.

Murder on the Transpennine Express (1974)

Albert Haddock, John Canary, Laurence Bacardi, Anthony Psycho, Dr John Feelgood, Michael Lancaster, Jacqueline Bisto, Dame Wendy Pillock, Vanessa Trotsky, Colin Blackley

Returning from an important case in Leeds, Hercules Cluedo boards the Transpennine Express at Todmorden. The train is unusually crowded with rival football supporters. By the time the train emerges from for the Summit Tunnel near Littleborough, one of them is lying unconscious on the floor in a pool of his own vomit. Who dunnit but more importantly, does anybody care? Loosely based on the book by Agatha Crispy, this movie was considered one of the worst cinematic adaptations of her work ever. The film starred Salford born Albert Haddock, Martin Vinegar, Richard Skidmark as Scratchitt and an all-star cast of suspects including Ingrid Burger-King (who won the 1974 St Anne’s Film Festival Award for worst supporting actress for her role as Greta Odearson).

Notably, Spatchcock chose to keep costs down by shooting the entire film on an actual Transpennine Express service train (the 9.47 from Leeds). 

Paint Your Shed (1969)

Marvin Drunkard, Woody Eastclint

Described by one critic as 'an unfathomable mess', Paint Your Shed was made on Saddleworth Moor, although the shed interiors were filmed at the Hollinwood studios.  Filming was beset with long delays due to the constant need to re-take scenes involving an almost permanently-inebriated Drunkard.  Eastclint later said this strengthened his resolve to become a director.   The film's initial budget was £80, but it eventually reached almost £95 due to the cost of transporting cast and crew to the filming location, as the closest hotel was nearly 6 miles away. The elaborate shed used in the film took up almost half the film's final cost.

All Quiet On The Westhoughton Front (1930)

Errol Brown, Donald Snack

Spatchcock took a perfectly respectable book and savaged it with his usual disregard for style and content.  To recreate the horror of trench warfare, he had his set builders erect a one and a half mile stretch of concrete bunkers (modeled on the Maginot Line) just south of Bolton.  After filming, the bunkers lay in ruins for many years, until they formed the foundations for the A666(M)  when it was built in 1970.

The Crew'll See (1952)

Jack Hawkeye, Donald Snide, Stanley Bilker

A ship's captain  refuses to use a curtain when in the shower. Shot entirely on location. An ex-RN frigate was transported to Rusholme and floated on the Municipal Boating Lake at Platt Fields Park for the film. It capsized following the wrap party and locals say that you can hear the ship's bell ring on still evenings.

On The Bickershaw Beat  (1962)

Norman Winsome, Dame Flora Robeson, Ronnie Carboot, Julian Camp, Susannah Spuds

Norman Pitcairn works for Wigan Police as a car cleaner but dreams of becoming a policeman like his late father. He is initially rejected by the police, but his uncanny resemblence to Luigi Canneloni, Aspull hairdresser and crime boss, means that he is recruited as part of an undercover sting operation. Winsome at the height of his popularity. Spatchcock was unable to find anyone who resembled Winsome to play Canneloni, so Ronnie Carboot had to spend 17 hours each day in make-up to portray Winsome's look-alike crime boss. A scene involving comedian Bob Monkfish was cut from the original release and has, thankfully, never been restored.

Mosley Common or Bust (1969)

Peter Cooker, Dudley Shorthouse, Tony Carthorse, Tommy-Terence, Eric Sacks, Hattie Jokes, Britt Eggplants, Jack Hawkeye 

Another star-studded flop. Contestants in the trans-Wigan car race will stop at nothing to win, and prevent the other contestants from winning. Much of the comedy derives from crass national, regional and racial stereotypes that did not go down well with the audience. The film could have bankrupted 20th Century Spatchcock, but the studio was saved by selling the rights to the film to female animator Hanna Barbara, who made it into the highly successful cartoon Wigan Racers.  

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